Tawkin' Turkey - So here it is, American Thanksgiving Weekend. One of the most heavily traveled weekends of the year in the U.S. A time when families gather to break bread, gives thanks and sometimes put the "fun" back in "dysfunctional."

But, of course this past Thursday was just like any other Thursday here in Canada since Thanksgiving here is in October. It was a bit surreal for me, being at work, dealing with clients, colleagues and case managers while trying to squeeze in long distance phone calls to my parents and other relatives before their big tryptophan filled feasts got under way.

This is the first time ever I haven't spent Thanksgiving with my parents. Since I'm still technically on probation at work and, at the moment, my ability to stay in Canada rides on my work permit, taking 2 vacation days wasn't an option I wanted to consider. So, throughout the day I convinced myself it wasn't a huge deal anyway. I mean most of the family is spread around so it would be a really small gathering anyway, much smaller than Christmas. And besides, my mother said don't bother coming home because I was just there 2 weeks ago because of some health issues my dad was having.

But, I have to admit, despite all this rationalizing and how happy I am living with my partner in Canada where I have more rights as a queer person than back in the States, I was definitely aware of my "otherness" in way I haven't been thus far. I think had I been overwhelmed with sadness or loneliness or guilt, I could make sense of that. But instead, I was completely caught off guard by this strange low-level melancholy. You know, that kind of "it ain't easy being green" kind of feeling. It makes sense I would feel this for American Thanksgiving since this is first major U.S. holiday I've experienced which doesn't have a Canadian counterpart close by calendar-wise. Iguess despite all my bitchin' about U.S. politics and "attitudes," teh States will always still feel like home in some not so bad ways too.