Say Cheese - Do know that in Canada, they don't have American cheese? Makes sense, right but not something I had ever really contemplated until a few weeks ago. My partner and I were grocery shopping in Canada and when she asked me what I wanted, I answered "American cheese," because sometimes ya just need a slice or two. Here, in case you and your Canadian partner decide to re-enact this exercise in cross-border culinary linguists, is the dialog that resulted.

P(artner): Is there anything you want to buy to have around the house, honey?
M(e): Yeah, actually, I'd love some American cheese?
P: What?
M: American cheese?
P: What kind is that?
M: Ya know, you buy it usually in slices, it comes in white and yellow kinds and certain brands, like Kraft are all cute and individually wrapped.
P: You mean like cheddar?
M: No, like American cheese?
P: I don't know what American cheese is, that's why I'm asking you.
M: *harrumphs* You know, it's kind of mild, creamy and all yummy....
P: *stares blankly for a moment* It's not cheddar? I don't know, honey, why don't you go over to the dairy case and see if anything in there looks like it and we'll buy it.
M: *saunters over to the dairy case and picks up a variety of cheese and cheese food products; a light bulb goes on that the name "American cheese" is not so universal; picks up a package of individually wrapped slices of "mild cheddar," returns to home base (i.e. the shopping cart) and puts the package in*
P: Did you find what you wanted?
M: Yes. It's called mild cheddar here.
P: Well, why would you call "mild cheddar" something other than "mild cheddar?"
M: *opens mouth to answer but is silent for a moment* ... I don't know.
P: Weird.
The End

Do I even need to say more about what we Americans can be like sometimes?